OAAR: Drowning Pool - Sinner (2001)

Back in the early 2000's (or as some would say, the aughts), a small band came out of nowhere in much the same way that many otherwise unknown acts came around - movie soundtracks. Drowning Pool was one of those bands. The first single off their debut album, Sinner, showed up in the trailer for the Vin Diesel version of Mission Impossible or James Bond flick for the new "Xtreme" generation, XXX (pronounced Triple X). This first single was a song that would go on to pollute every remotely action oriented movie, but would also launch the careers of friends of Pantera greats Dimebag Darrell (RIP) and Vinnie Paul into the stratosphere with Drowning Pool playing the second stage of 2001's Ozzfest (the first Ozzfest of my storied concert-going history). Shortly after the end of Ozzfest (and only months after Pete and I saw them) and during the beginning of what could have been a fantastic career, a heart defect would claim the life of front man Dave Williams (RIP). So with this in mind, the Opportunity Assassins bring you the only Drowning Pool album featuring the original lineup, Sinner.

The album opens fairly strongly with the title track, "Sinner." We get our first look at what Drowning Pool will be like and to be quite fair, quite a bit of what you'll hear for the rest of the album. This isn't to say that this album is bad, it's just pretty much middle of the road. It's actually unfortunate that "Sinner" is followed up by the aforementioned single, "Bodies," a toxic waste dump of a song that for whatever reason became so insanely popular that you still hear it to this day when someone's beating the shit out of someone. Now that over 10 years have passed I feel comfortable enough to say it once again..."Bodies" is probably one of the top 10 most pervasive shitstorms of a song of all time. Luckily for "Bodies" enough time has passed that I can feel comfortable giving it a 1, simply because it wasn't written or performed by LMFAO.

On the upside, the best song of the album, "Tear Away" washes out all the hurt caused by the previous track.  Williams does a lot of interesting things with either his voice or with the effects throughout the rest of the album, but musically, there's not all that much variation from song to song. The last quality track on the album is "Sermon," not surprisingly, also the second longest track after "Tear Away" and also the second most interesting. It's one of the few tracks that doesn't just go verse, chorus, verse, chorus and actually drops some changes of tempo and tone enough to keep you with it. Also, "Sermon" ends with some foreshadowing of a later Saliva single (and PS3 advert) plus some backwards stuff. Back when Sinner first came out, I actually grabbed down the end of "Sermon" and dropped it in a program to play it backwards and find out what Dave Williams says. Turns out it's "Tell me what you believe." I'll be damned.

Author: Jake

Drowning Pool is one of many turn of the century nü-metal bands that, a decade from now, will probably fade into obscurity.  Often, this is a result of lacking either the skill or the cojones to experiment with a sound, which, coincidentally, is something we here at Opportunity Assassins regularly rip into bands for.  But you can get an "A" for effort from us even if the experiment fails.  Sadly, Sinner is a foreshadowing of a band spitting out the same song eleven times on an album, so in anticipation of hearing the same shit over and over again we have both given this album an F (see sidebar).

Sinner is not without catchy riffs, solid hooks, and a couple ("Sinner" and "Tear Away") playlist-worthy songs.  But, much like Jake, having lived through the album's release I am unable to wash away the stink of "Bodies", which somehow became a cliche before it became popular, and went on (along with Papa Roach's "Last Resort") to infiltrate every high school hillbilly jock's playlist.  When you're one of two 3 minute breaks from a solid life of country music, you've already sort of abandoned the heavy metal community you sought acceptance from.  I don't begrudge the guys in Drowning Pool their royalty money from the song, which hit it big as a soundtrack offering upon release, but taken in context it's a huge disappointment.  Other up and coming bands (think Mudvayne's "Dig", or Seether's "Gasoline") actually released good songs before they got all gimmicky, which has earned them much more leeway on the music front.  I had a hard time rating this album, because I heard it so many times as a teenager that I know the words to basically all the songs, and in fairness the scores should be lower, but I felt like doing so would tear out a part of my history (and I own a ton of AC/DC albums, and all they do is make the same song over and over again, but at least their songs are good).  Regardless, if you've never heard this album, you're missing nothing at all.  And if you're going to try and defend "Bodies", remember this, it's a sonic abortion and I'm pro-choice.

Author: Pete

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OAAR: Audioslave - Revelations (2006)

If there's nothing else I love about these Opportunity Assassins Album Reviews, it's the opportunity to get around to albums I haven't had the chance to hear yet. In true Opportunity Assassins form, Audioslave's third and final album, Revelations, has been an album I just haven't had the chance to get around to until tonight. So while I'm sure I've heard at least a couple singles from this album, the entire experience is new to me. So let's get down to wrapping up Audioslave, shall we?

Revelations stars off with what would appear to be an Audioslave standard with pretty straightforward title track, "Revelations." Sure, it's a decent way to start out the third album by leading with the firmed up Audioslave song, but it just doesn't really get me into the album. We'll leave that job to "One and the Same," a great track featuring solid vocals and a great classic Tom Morello guitar solo complete with fun effects. "Sound of a Gun" keeps things going with a solid heavy sound and simple guitar riffs that make the third track actually quite catchy. While Audioslave pulls back and delivers a somewhat mediocre effort with "Until We Fall," they quickly turn it right back around with "Original Fire," a song that I'm sure will one day be considered a great example of what Audioslave rock was all about.

The middle part of Revelations is a pretty strong showing of some great Audioslave chemistry from "Broken City" to "Wide Awake." While none of these tracks in particular really stands out head and shoulders above the rest, the funky jam of "Somedays" is probably sitting out on the highest peak in that particular range. After coming down a bit in the middle, the last two songs provide a really nice bookend to the Audioslave experiment that lasted about four years in total. "Nothing Left to Say But Goodbye," while not exactly the greatest song title for the second to last track brings us quite well into the finale, "Moth," which reminds us just what kind of song writing abilities the band has. Oddly enough, though, they decided to fade out on the last track which just doesn't quite give the satisfaction of completion that I was looking for. Oh well, though. They can always get back together down the road, right?

Author: Jake

Audioslave's final album, Revelations, provides some mixed reaction as it showcases both intricate songwriting and what are easily the best lyrics that Cornell produced within the group.  There is no better example of this than the album's first single, "Original Fire", which is a horrible song that is saved from a 2 or worse rating by the refrain – "The original fire has died and gone, but the riot inside moves on" – which is a metaphor that plays out very strongly throughout the album, the band's history, and probably even connects with each listener in a very specific way.  In essence, "Original Fire" is the exact opposite of Out of Exile's "Be Yourself". 

Another solid lyrical offering is the album's penultimate track "Nothing Left To Say But Goodbye", which offers the sorrowful observation:

"Just like a rescue of a stray dog in the rain I was hungry when you found me
And you can tell by my tail and my ribcage what was once around me"Politics begin to creep in through the Hurricane Katrina-inspired "Wide Awake", but surprisingly the song as a whole delivers so well I was unable to mark it down for that, while the heavy jam "Broken City" is full of cool dystopian lyrics, not the least of which is "...no one cares about climbin' stairs, nothin' at the top no more".

For all the good lyrics and varied riffs that weave an enjoyable picture, Revelations is ultimately just okay, and thus ultimately forgettable.  While filled with metaphors both simple and deep, the album is unable to escape the metaphor (perhaps for the band itself?) that its opening and title track, "Revelations", is by far the best song on the album, and all the others are simply marking time until the end.  In Cornell's own words, "I know what I know why don't you fill in the rest?"

Author:  Pete

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OAAR: Led Zeppelin - Houses of the Holy (1973)

Led Zeppelin's fifth studio album, Houses of the Holy is the first non-numbered album (depending what you call Led Zeppelin IV). So far we've come to expect nothing but classic tune after classic tune from our boys from across the pond so I have to say, after looking at the track list and for being the first time listening to this album, I'm interested to see what Led Zeppelin will bring to the party for the fifth outing - whether it's more of the same or more of an experimental good time.

Opening up Houses of the Holy is the song "The Song Remains the Same," which is a title that doesn't quite capture the more instrumental heavy first track with a bit of vocals spread in for good measure. I love Page's guitar riffs John Paul Jones' prominent bass lines which, on their own, get the opening track a score of 4, but without more subdued vocal track from Plant, I just can't give it a perfect 5. After a more subdued but musically superb second track where the production quality really stands out, we're welcomed by our first classic tune from the fifth compilation of tracks, "Over the Hills and Far Away." I love Jimmy Page's clean strumming guitar over a shining example of great bass playing leading into Plant's vocals. The solo, to no one's surprise, is a fun dual guitar riffing good time. Everything from the first note to the last chord is a masterpiece. Of course, the first half of the album wouldn't be complete without the funky bass lines and swinging time signatures found in "The Crunge." Going into this album, I was thinking what an odd name for a song that was, but now that I've heard it, I now completely understand. Where is that confounded bridge anyway?

Leading off the second half of Houses is the recognizable riff, but overall less well known track, "Dancing Days." Another great new tune with a bit of a Hawaiian flare and featuring Plant's fantastic vocal acumen is difficult to correctly pronounce by just looking at the title, "D'yer Mak'er," which I have no clue what that means. Regardless, it's another recognizable Zeppelin song and as some of the Brits would say, a stonking good time. Probably the most surprising (pleasantly so) addition is the almost instrumental "No Quarter," adding synthesized keys and some piano along with a good amount of distorted guitar. It's an auditory pleasure or, as Kevin Smith (Silent Bob) would say, an Ear-gasm (Pete calls it an Aur-gasm). Closing out the album is the equally enjoyable "The Ocean." All in all, I didn't think I would like any albums better than Led Zeppelin IV, but I have to say, Houses of the Holy is quite the enjoyable experience and takes over as the top album reviewed so far.

Author: Jake

It's obvious very early on in Houses of the Holy that Zeppelin are both willing to experiment with their songwriting and that their experiments are successes.  (As we will see down the road, however, even for Zeppelin this doesn't last.)  The songs on Houses of the Holy can fit into two basic categories: traditional rock'n'roll song, and everything else.  The traditional songs, ("The Song Remains The Same", "The Rain Song", "Dancing Days", and "The Ocean") are strong offerings, but not phenomenal.  I was especially disappointed with the album's only true ballad "Rain Song", which pales in comparative quality to "Tangerine" (LZIII) or even "Going To California (LZIV/Zoso).

As for the 'everything else' songs, "No Quarter" is the rare instance of a song that is good, but is out-shined entirely by an inspired cover, in this case by prog-metal deities TOOL.  "Over The Hills And Far Away" could perhaps be considered traditional in its sound, but the number of distinct themes spread over the five minutes have me put it in the "other" category.  Along with "Bring It On Home", "Hills" is a rather hidden Zeppelin gem that sits firmly in my top rotation from now until eternity.  The weird, zydeco-reggae-slow-jam that is "D'yer Mak'er" is easily the most unique song on the album, and a second listen through makes me wonder why I didn't give it a 5, while "The Crunge" is unique in a kind of unsettling way, as Robert Plant channels his inner performance artist to – as far as I can tell – complain about a bridge.

Overall, Houses of the Holy has the great feature that it is just as good listening straight through as it is skipping around or taking in only a song or two at a time.  Variety and solid songwriting, along with some very memorable melodies and, quite simply, some memorable sounds, made for an enjoyable return listen, and many of the songs will see a bump in my iTunes playlist going forward.

Author: Pete

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OAAR: Audioslave - Out of Exile (2005)

I was such a big fan of the first Audioslave album that I'm actually surprised I never picked up the second or third iterations of Audioslave tune collections. So this is actually the first time I've heard Out of Exile in its entirety. Of course, since I listen to enough rock, I've heard the four singles off Out of Exile but the rest of the album will be a mystery.

Opening up the album is "Your Time Has Come," a solid rock track, with a bit of Tom Morello thrown in for good measure, but compared to how Audioslave opened, the sophomore album from Audioslave more or less eases you into the music as opposed to slapping you in the face with an auditory sledge hammer. What starts becoming apparent once you hit "Be Yourself" and "Dosen't Remind Me" is that fact that while we still have Chris Cornell and Tom Morello, we have less of their wholly independent musical identities and more of a meld between the two artists leaving us with the more pure Rock & Roll experience. It's also no wonder that the first four tracks of Out of Exile were the four singles released from the album because of their more mainstream appeal.

A weird thing seems to happen around the middle of the album though. You know when you come to a stop behind another car at the lights, then the lights turn green and you and the car in front of you accelerates but you're accelerating a bit faster so you have to completely pull your foot off the gas while the car in front picks up speed and gets to a point where you can speed up again? That jarring moment when your car's clutch kicks in perfectly describes how the three track set of "Drown Me Slowly," "Heaven's Dead" and "The Worm" feels to me. Sure, you can count on Audioslave to bring their talent to all of these tracks, but through "Man or Animal," there wasn't a single moment that made me say "Wow." Overall while Out of Exile isn't a bad album, it's pretty forgetful for the most part. I'm not really sure what happened between the first two albums, but it just doesn't have the punch that the first one did. There really isn't much else to say.

Author: Jake

Out of Exile is a near perfectly crafted follow up to the band's 2002 self-title debut – at least as far as my criticism of that album is concerned.  The opening track, "Your Time Has Come", is hauntingly reminiscent of the whole of Audioslave in its construction and at first made me wonder whether this album too would be an hour of wonderful aural stasis, but stasis nonetheless.  Then the album's title track kicked in and all my worries were washed away in uptempo rock and doubled and harmonized vocal lines.  Out of Exile, much like its predecessor, is full of strong songwriting, but it is far more varied in individual song stylings, which nets it a high experience score while keeping the album's overall score a bit lower.  It is evident by the midway point that what we're being treated to is truly the sophomore effort of Audioslave, and not just a second run at a supergroup album, and that's a very enjoyable reality.

While the flow from uptempo rock to ballads and back is more traditional, the album's two most popular songs, "Be Yourself" and "Doesn't Remind Me", provide a unique pairing early in the album.  "Be Yourself", which was the album's first single, is a terrible song.  Its positive refrain of "to be yourself is all that you can do" seems like it should be the slogan for one of the new anti-bullying campaigns that are all the rage now in America.  The lyric comes across as forced and phony and fails to acknowledge anything about the real world; it's place more at home in a G.I. Joe cartoon than on a rock album.  And, like all cheesy, crappy lyrics, the band has decided it is the only line of the refrain, so you're forced to listen to it over and over again.  In contrast, the anti-nostalgia of "Doesn't Remind Me" is refreshing, and the lyrics may be the best Cornell has written for an Audioslave song.  The whole premise of the song – that Cornell is looking to enjoy things for which he has no historical memory or nostalgia; in essence, to experience something truly new – is fascinating to me personally, and the song is crafted and executed extremely well.  It's easily the only 5 on the album, and I might have tried to get away with giving it a 7 were it not for the fact that it has to pull the listening audience up from the four and a half minutes of landfill that "Be Yourself" is.  If you take nothing else away from this review, get "Doesn't Remind Me" on your iPod, pronto.

Author: Pete

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OAAR: Audioslave - Audioslave (2002)

There is an interesting concept out there called a "Supergroup" or, in other words, a band made of extremely talented members of other bands that get together and have a big sonic baby (no, not the fast blue hedgehog type). Apparently there have been several bands put together that could fall under this category, but two particular ones jump out at me from the modern music perspective: Audioslave and Velvet Revolver. Each band brings together a unique set of flavors from each member but while Velvet Revolver was highly touted, it probably wouldn't have been as popular if it weren't for the success of Audioslave.

When Audioslave came on the scene with the self-titled album, Audioslave, the combination of members being touted was some of the best group of individuals I could have put together short of the members of Tool. After the success of political rap-rock group Rage Against the Machine and subsequent departure of Zack de la Rocha, guitar god Tom Morello and the other two members of Rage didn't really have much going on. They decided they'd continue to play together but needed a new frontman. Fast forward a bit and you'll come to the point where ex-Soundgarden singer, Chris Cornell, enters the fray. Bringing in some great vocal history to mix with the instrumental focus of Rage Against the Machine turned out to be quite a winning combination for a few years.

Audioslave starts off letting you know, for the most part, who the players are. Starting off with "Cochise" is the unmistakable sound of Tom Morello's guitar effects, then layers in some drums, and finally adds in the familiar raspy voice of Chris Cornell. This is a fantastic way to introduce you to a new group of individuals, to the key players and probably most importantly of all, to make sure you realize that this is something new instead of a rehash of past musical lives. While "Cochise" is a great song, it's the second track, "Show Me How to Live," that really defines how a supergroup should sound. Cornell's vocals in this song are top notch (especially the thing Cornell does with his voice at the end) and so are the incredible things that Morello does with his guitar. It's the perfect mix of insanely unique artists.

This whole album is an incredible collection of music, but there are definitely a couple standouts a bit later in the album. "Shadow on the Sun" is a great melding of clean guitar with the bass lines overlaid behind Cornell's controlled vocals followed by the heavier chorus. Of course, Tom Morello throws in a really unique sounding, very tasteful, solo that doesn't overpower or take anything away from the track. Even the screaming at the end of the track doesn't take away from the perfection of "Shadow on the Sun" which is a tough task to accomplish. The last track that really stands out to me is the smooth jam, "Getaway Car." As we've seen throughout the entirety of Audioslave, Chris Cornell has an incredibly powerful and versatile voice, but in "Getaway Car," he pulls back to give his voice a certain purity that isn't found on other tracks. All this and more makes Audioslave one of the top all around modern rock albums and is well worth the 65 minutes you'll spend enjoying this auditory delight.

Author: Jake

The debate over "supergroups" is like the debate for the perfect woman.  You never quite get everything you're looking for, and every positive trait carries with it one that might be regrettable later on down the line.  Want perfect curves?  She's a vegetarian.  Want a highly intellectual professional woman who exudes sexuality (and I do: apply within)?  She's probably a Vikings fan with daddy issues.  How about finally getting Metallica to do a 'supergroup' album?  They pick that piece of shit Lou Reed to team with and make you question your manhood.  Somehow, though, Audioslave has managed to entirely circumvent all of the attachment caveats.

Rage Against the Machine is/was at times great, often good, but too often barely tolerable with their overt political messages.  Soundgarden has always been out of place in the grunge scene, at least according to my musical pallet, and their song construction style has always resembled A Perfect Circle more than Nirvana or Alice In Chains.  But when you take the best parts of both and mash it together into a single band, Chris Cornell's awesome vocals mix with the tight, simple, melody-driven rhythm section of RATM so seamlessly that you begin to wonder why no one thought of this before.  And, in fact, simplicity is the key to the success of Audioslave's self-titled debut.  Cornell's vocals would probably be just as comfortable on a new Soundgarden album, and Morello's collection of one-note melodies could easily be layered under Zack de la Rocha whining about George Bush or lack of public subsidies or whatever.  Instead, they're together, here, on this album, in what is the sneakiest aural orgasm (aur-gasm?) you'll ever be a part of.  This album is top notch from front to back, aided in large part because the tempo of almost every song is the same (a possible nod to AC/DC) and thus the listen is very smooth.

The album's top singles, "Cochise" and "Show Me How To Live", are catchy tunes that showcase Cornell's ability to weave between a pleasant tenor and screaming staccato phrasing and have understandably endured.  The best display of talent and songwriting comes near the disc's end, however, as the straightforward rock of "Light My Way" is succeeded with the tastefully simple chord progression that drives "Getaway Car".  The scoresheet above shows that I've littered Audioslave with 4s and a couple 5s.  The 2 for experience, however, is in fact a reflection of the album's success.  It is so smooth and even from open to close that you find yourself wishing for a straightforward thrasher just so that particular song can stick out like a sore thumb.  But overall, if you can say you go about your business in an "Audioslave" mood you're probably leading an enjoyable life...and your girl/guy is probably a 14/10.  You lucky bastard.

Author: Pete

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OAAR: Led Zeppelin - Led Zeppelin IV (1971)

Led Zeppelin at the time of their fourth album, Led Zeppelin IV could probably have been the first true Opportunity Assassin band because rather than coming up with album titles, they simply numbered them, making our lives far easier when figuring out which came first. Luckily for us, however, four albums in and Led Zeppelin still hasn't phoned in a single album. I'm pretty sure I've established this already, but these OAARs on Led Zeppelin's discography is the first time I'm hearing these albums in their entirety and not only am I surprised that they are still as obviously important now as they were when they came out but also that even in the age of vinyl, we've been given some of the greatest album experiences to date. That brings me to what I can easily consider to be the best Led Zeppelin album that I've experienced so far and while I'm sure it's painfully obvious to those of you Zeppelin fans out there, I'll break some of the high points down for the rest of you who, like me, have yet to experience the magic that is Led Zeppelin IV.

Zeppelin IV starts off being yet another Led Zeppelin album bringing forth another iconic Zeppelin tune in "Black Dog." Of course it wouldn't be Zeppelin if they rested on their laurels, so they brought forth an even more iconic tune, "Rock and Roll" to follow it up. Finally, we get the song that everyone who's not deaf knows which is the exceedingly famous "Stairway to Heaven." What's the chance of Led Zeppelin's most notable track not getting a score of 5? If you said anything other than "zero" or one of its synonyms, then you obviously haven't been paying attention to anything we've said so far and you should probably quit now before you make an even larger fool of yourself. Anyway, nothing more needs to be said about the perfection of "Stairway to Heaven" so let's flip the album if you will and move on.

"Misty Mountain Hop" is one of those songs that often times falls by the wayside when people start lining up the greatest Zeppelin songs of all time, but it shows why Robert Plant is so incredibly amazing. Moving between the repeated three notes (plus harmonies) and his vocal freestyle riffs shows a creativity that can only be reproduced with an equal amount of genius or a large amount of drugs plus a good helping of talent. "Four Sticks" is one of the very few Zeppelin songs I'm discovering I haven't heard yet at one time or another. As I'm finding out, when Zeppelin moves away from the normal, the result can end up being a lot of fun, especially the combination of the drum beat and the guitar riff. This must be a studio track or something, though, because the vocal part doesn't even really sound like Plant.  I especially love everything about "Going to California," especially Jimmy Page's use of mandolin. Led Zeppelin IV is easily one of the best if not the best Zeppelin album of all time, but we still have a long way to go so I'm sticking with a discography score of 4.

Author: Jake

Is it really Led Zeppelin IV? Just IV? Is it Zoso? Do we care?  No.  What Led Zeppelin's fourth album is is the best collection of the band's varied sounds.  Sadly, that will almost always be an oh-by-the-way fact behind it being "that album with 'Stairway' on it".   The fact that "Stairway to Heaven" is one of the greatest (and most famous) songs of all time – and that without the drums or bass entering until the song is half over! – has forever been offset by the legion of guitar playing wannabes who know only the first melody, but play it as a badge of pride.  Know this: if a song released in 1971 can be a joke in a movie in 1992 (Wayne's World) and still be understood in 2012, chances are it's a pretty damn good song.  And it is.  There's something that seems to be unique about long, complicated songs with multiple extensive melodies (think "Free Bird" or "Hotel California" or "Layla") that gives them a timeless edge.

Aside from containing the band's most famous song, thought, IV is in many ways a perfect homage to the many influences that made up Led Zeppelin.  The blues roots are most obvious on "Rock and Roll", especially with Page's trademark 'sloppy' guitar soloing, but are also very much present on "Black Dog", where phrase and answer verses showcase Plant's vocal ability as well as the band's overall knack for unique phrasing – here using a 5/4 time signature to create a very original melody.  Where Zeppelin's sound peaks on this album (the raw session sounds don't bleed through on songs like "Kashmir" or the opus "Achilles' Last Stand") the songwriting once again outperforms expectations.  "When the Levee Breaks" has always lands in my top two of favorite Zeppelin songs, as the wailing harmonica and grungy, heavy lead riff actually provide a window into the sound that would eventually become known as heavy metal.

My largest appreciation of this album has always been for Page's guitar work, and although oddities like the mandolin in "Going to California" or the subject matter of the now Tolkein-cult classic "The Battle of Evermore" swallow some of Page's genius, it shines through plenty on all the other tracks.  Despite an all-star lineup of songs, IV gets downgraded in the overall marks department for two reasons.  Incredibly, it isn't Zeppelin's best album overall; that nod goes (perhaps even more incredibly) to the double-disc Physical Graffiti.  Moreover, the subtle flavors that allowed for Led Zeppelin II to mature with time are almost wholly absent from IV.  Your first aural tour of the album will evoke immediate and visceral reactions that will not be tempered or augmented with age.  I've probably listened through IV at least a hundred times, and I still enjoy it the same way I did the first time I heard it.  Sometimes, though, it's nice to know exactly what you're getting with an album, and Led Zeppelin has never had any pretensions as far as that goes, even if there is a bustle in your hedgerow.

Author: Pete

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OAAR: Linkin Park - Hybrid Theory (2000)

Hybrid Theory, the very first album from new band (in 2000), Linkin Park. It was back in the era of music videos on MTV (believe it or not) which I'm pretty sure is how I discovered Linkin Park back then. I remember them coming on the scene with their first single, "One Step Closer," which is still one of the most popular Linkin Park songs. I also remember thinking, after picking up the album, how short the CD is, coming in right around 35min. The album is so good that I always wanted to have more which made both listening to this album and waiting for Meteora that much more of a pain.

Hybrid Theory definitely comes on with a strong beginning, opening with "Papercut" and introducing us to the heavy riffs, Mr. Hahn's samples, Mike Shinoda's relatively simple rhymes and Chester Bennington's sometimes clean/sometimes gravely voice. Moving right along to the head nod worthy "One Step Closer," Linkin Park gives us a clearer view of Chester's singing and screaming abilities while piling on the heavy riffage. Continuing on through the first third of Hybrid Theory, Linkin Park's sole purpose is to convince you that their equation for music is one you want to subscribe to with more great examples of how both Chester and Mike can work together to give something more than what you might have been used to at that time.   This brings us to the next third of the album kicking off with one of my personal favorites, "Crawling." In high school, most of the excitement came around new music video releases, and the music video for "Crawling" was no different. Of course at a time like High School where you're trying to establish an identity, the video can speak to you, but really, it was the combination of the smoking hot chick plus the subtle blue hair that Shinoda was sporting at the time that stuck out to me (I never actually got around to dying my hair the same color unfortunately).

It's funny, actually, listening to this album again 12 years later (christ, it's been that long already?) because much like Meteora, I never realized how much Shinoda is the lead. It was always billed as being Chester's deal and Mike is just the backup/guitars, but after looking at this and all the other Linkin Park albums, I've realized how important Mike Shinoda is to the whole thing.  After "Crawling," the rest of Hybrid Theory is very good, but nothing ever quite gets back to that 5 level. What was interesting was Mr. Hahn's feature track, "Cure for the Itch" which is a fun track but is just a bit out of place here. The last track, "Pushing Me Away" pulls this whole crazy first outing together with the guitar riff made of the muted harmonics which, at the time, I learned how to play. It's close to perfect but just doesn't quite get to as good as it could so it'll have to settle for a 4. Overall, I think this is still one of the best Linkin Park albums of all time and still is a cohesive album so it's one of the higher scores on OAAR to date.

Author: Jake

About the turn of the century, as I was entering high school, there were four* rock/metal albums that came out that significantly shaped my musical appreciation and dreams of rock stardom.  Linkin Park's debut, Hybrid Theory, was one of them.  Easily the most original take on the rap-metal hybrid that would eventually become part of the nu-metal sonic spectrum, Linkin Park's sound was catchy, aggressive, and radio-friendly (in a way that say, Disturbed, was not), but never bowed too far in the sappy/plastic direction (I'm looking at you, Staind).

The true strength of Hybrid Theory is how many sides of the same sound the band is able to present, coherently, in just around three minutes a pop.  Take "A Place For My Head" for example.  A staccato and simple opening guitar riff is built on with some complementary sampling by Mr. Hahn before the vocals kick in, and once they do the complex rap Mike Shinoda delivers is the closest thing I've ever heard to rap poetry.  The song is a three minute intensity plateau (hence its 3 rating) but is also a hint at how good Linkin Park could – and can – be when it comes to song composition.

The uniqueness of Linkin Park's sound is obvious on the first three tracks ("Papercut", "One Step Closer", "With You") as the send and receive between the sung vocals and rapped phrases is presented so seamlessly you would believe it occurred in every song in history that has at least three chords.  The highlight of the band's musical gamesmanship, however, is the Hahn showpiece "Cure For The Itch", which illustrates how to use a DJ in a way that is more than just sound effects and samples.  The angry edge that is present on so much of this album – even the heavily melodic tracks like "Crawling" and "In The End" – is probably responsible in some pseudo-psychological way for how much I enjoy this album.  Even though the more raw aspects of Hybrid Theory appear in decreased amounts (if at all) on the band's subsequent albums, the hook was essentially set the first time I heard "One Step Closer" driving around in my cousin's car one Friday night looking for something fun to do.  Music history is littered with debut albums that were followed up by disappearing acts, but this is most definitely not one of those cases.  Hybrid Theory remains Linkin Park's most compelling album to date, and if you don't believe me cue up iTunes and give yourself over to 38 minutes of nu-metal nostalgia.  You can thank me later.

Author: Pete

(*) The four were:
Disturbed - The Sickness
Godsmack - Godsmack
Linkin Park - Hybrid Theory
Staind - Dysfunction

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OAAR: Linkin Park - Meteora (2003)

Linkin Park's second album, Meteora, is just one big con. There, I said it. By no means is it a bad album or something you should avoid listening to if you're a Linkin Park fan, but just be aware that the goods sold to you on the second listed track are not what Meteora is all about. Let me paint a picture for you. Imagine you've been waiting three years for a new Linkin Park album after listening to their first, and arguably best, album. But those three years have felt more like 5. So you go to the local Sam Goody (remember those?) and buy the Meteora Special Edition (because you can..also, remember those?). From there, you go out to your car and unwrap the CD like a man possessed. You take that fresh disk out and slide it into the aftermarket CD player you paid $300 for. "What do you hear first?" I hear you ask.

Well, once you pop the CD in, you're greeted with an explosion than sounds of anvils or something like that on the track "Foreword." A right proper title for the first track if you ask me (no, I'm not British). The excitement starts to build because what is there to follow some really cool sound effects but a masterpiece. Well, this first track ushers us perfectly into the first actual song on the album, "Don't Stay." A grin starts to spread across your face as Mr. Han's samples lead to a single, heavily distorted guitar then from there, BAM. The whole band comes in to usher you into the next, heaviest, Linkin Park album. Chester greets you with his vocals, effortlessly transitioning from the melodic to the harsh raspiness he will be known to over-utilize only one album later. Linkin Park is back!

But then, "Somewhere I Belong" starts up and the heavy guitars are replaced with some strange sounds from Mr. Han and some clean guitars. You worry for a moment only to have the distortion come back. So you think you're ok, and then the distortion drops out again and Mike Shinoda starts rapping. Chester comes in here and there reminding you that he's still here and promising that you'll hear more from him, which you do in the chorus when the distortion comes back. But from here on out, the album is never the same. Shinoda seems to have replaced Chester as front-man. He's giving a decent performance, sure, but you just feel like the songs could be better. There are some brighter spots than others, like the popular "Faint", the Chester fronted "Breaking the Habit"  and Mr Han's solo in "Session" but it just seems like Meteora never quite reaches as high as it could have. At least until "Numb" where Chester and Shinoda finally come together to lay down a fantastic track.

Again, don't get me wrong. I still enjoy this album and the very solid flow from track to track which makes for a spectacular overall experience but like I said, I feel somewhat cheated. Hopefully, next time you wander back down Meteora way, you'll better remember what you've really signed up for and have a much better time as a result. P.S. - Take a look at our scores for "Don't Stay" then think about the score while listening to the end of the track. Do you think they knew how we'd score it?

Author: Jake

In a world full of bands who suffer the "sophomore slump", it's always exciting when one band hits back with an album as good as - dare I say better? No, no I don't - than the first.  And when it happens it is the most natural thing in the world to wonder "What's the secret?  Why don't other bands follow this model?"  There's a long and complicated answer probably, but let's cut all the bull.  Linkin Park took the most surefire way of repeating debut success, make the same damn album again.  Now, of course this should bother you some, but not too much.  Remember, bad music (modern country) and good music (AC/DC) have parlayed the repeated album motif into millions of dollars.

In Linkin Park's case, Meteora is very much akin to Hybrid Theory.  Yet where the latter was driven by guitar riffs and an inspired new ("nu-") blend of metal, the former is filled with catchy vocal melodies, hooks, and sequences (probably a main contributing factor to Jake and I having a 10 point difference in rating).  The combination of these disparate parts forms into perhaps the most sonically cohesive album in the band's catalog, but at the same time you, the listener, are experiencing sonic stasis.  If you're jacked when the album starts, you're jacked when it's over, yet somehow the same experience goes for sadness, indifference, and the desperate need to pee.  The songs are very good, overall, as evidenced by the litany of 4s I handed out.  Whether it's "Breaking The Habit", "Don't Stay", or "Easier To Run" that comes on, I'm pleasantly surprised and do enjoy my 3 minutes of turn of the century reminiscence. "Somewhere I Belong" is a top notch track, that reminds you that you're listening to the same band, just three years later.  "Numb", which I would posit is the best Linkin Park song ever, leaves you with promises of what's to come.  But all in all, Meteora does the same thing Hybrid Theory did, it announces the band's legitimacy and teases the future.  And as enjoyable as this album is that fact will make it always good, but never great.

Author: Pete

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OAAR: Led Zeppelin - Led Zeppelin III (1970)

By the end of Led Zeppelin's third album, aptly titled Led Zeppelin III, I thought to myself, "Well, they can't all be winners." Truly not a bad album by any stretch of the imagination, LZ3 just didn't have the magic found on their debut or their follow-up albums. But much like every Led Zeppelin album to date, there's at least one classic that can be found on this album. Of course it's no surprise that this classic is "Immigrant Song", one of the most recognizable Zeppelin jams and unfortunately for all of us, the shortest song on the album. As a matter of fact, I think "Immigrant Song" is so fantastic and so much fun that I just don't want it to end. Ever. I actually never even noticed the bass lines during that song because in between rocking out, singing along and not really listening to the track, it can get easily lost in the shuffle but everything about the opening track is spectacular.

Unfortunately, much like a roller coaster, you never quite get as high as the highest point without a bit of help. A roller coaster is actually a great comparison to the experience of this album because right after the highs, there is a speedy descent then some climbing and another steep descent then one more climb and a final descent. The first high point is obviously "Immigrant Song" as I stated before, but my next favorite song on this album is a complete 180. "Since I've Been Lovin You" can probably best be described with common 70's terms like "mellow" and "groovy" because sometimes you just want to mellow out and groove with the music. It just so happens to be the longest track on the album clocking in at over 7 minutes. Overall, though, Led Zeppelin III is better than many modern albums today and is definitely a collection of songs you should check out.

Author: Jake

"Immigrant Song" may the be the absolute apex of Robert Plant's vocal experience in Led Zeppelin.  The song, although short, portends a tour de force of the skills of Zeppelin's members...but the album falls short.  My personal experience with this album is that it sits divisively on the fence with Zeppelin fans.  In many ways, the more melodic, softer side of Zeppelin shines through here, especially on tracks like "Gallows Pole" and "Tangerine".  Jimmy Page employs a number of open tunings for his guitar, and Robert Plant lets his intense vocals fly throughout, the highlights being (of course) "Immigrant Song" and "Celebration Day".

Overall, Led Zeppelin III remains a very unique record.  Its insane cover (and multiple version from 1970) fit well into its contents, which are hit or miss, but undoubtably cohesive.  From beginning to end, it is the best Zeppelin record other than Physical Graffiti, but its top end doesn't stand out the way the first two albums did.  One idea that we hope the Opportunity Assassins haven't planted in your head is that two or three quality songs could ever outweigh an album as beautifully constructed as Led Zeppelin III.  It's not full of five star songs, but when you get out of work on a Friday and want to just relax with a drink, crank some LZIII and get your "Friends" on.

Author: Pete

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OAAR: Linkin Park - Minutes to Midnight (2007)

Ah, yes..Minutes to Midnight, Linkin Park's third studio album and follow up to Meteora released 4 years prior. I remember the first time I listened through Minutes, not for any of the songs in particular, but more for the fact that Chester dropped the word "fuck" for the first time after two albums (and seven years after the release of Hybrid Theory) of not saying anything worse than "damn" (if my memory serves me correctly). Now, I wouldn't call this a controversial move, nor a necessarily surprising move lyrically but it was definitely an "it's about time" moment for a band as heavy as Linkin Park was in the early days. It's funny, actually, giving Minutes to Midnight another dedicated listen through because it felt like Linkin Park decided to make up for lost opportunities to offend this time around.

So what did I think of Minutes to Midnight? Well, let's take a look at some highlights and low lights. First up is the track "Given Up" which is the last song Chester screams in that he actually doesn't ruin or at least take away from the track as a whole. Paired with lead in track "Wake" we're greeted with a pretty decent beginning of an album. "Bleed It Out", Mike Shinoda's first vocal lead opportunity, is a fun tune with simple hip hop lyrics but features what can be considered to be my favorite way to build out a track starting with a simple lead in then building and layering instruments on top coming to a section where you just can't help but to tap your toes. Unfortunately, though, Chester's screaming once again prevents this track from reaching a perfect 5 score.

The middle of Minutes to Midnight is littered with mediocre tracks including low points "Shadow of the Day" and "Hands Held High" - two of the most boring and lackluster tracks on the album. Luckily, toward the end, the songs improve quite a bit. "In Between" once again provides another example of how great Mike's singing voice is and how well it and Chester's blend when used wisely for harmonies or vocal doubling. Finally, we're left with a good closing tune featuring some great vocal harmonies and excellent drumming in "The Little Things Give You Away". Quite honestly it's probably the best closing track of the Linkin Park albums we Opportunity Assassins have reviewed to date not to mention it surprisingly exceeds the 6 minute mark, a rarity for Linkin Park. Overall, I'm reminded of a question a professor asked me because it perfectly describes Minutes to Midnight -  "Are you striving for mediocrity?"

Author: Jake

It's no surprise that everyone considers Minutes to Midnight Linkin Park's 'experimental' album, but it needs to receive equal pub for how badly the experiment failed.  As you can see, I gave the album a 0 for experience score, because quite frankly there is no rhyme or reason to the songs or the order or anything that happens over its 43 minutes, and I refuse to allow you, dear reader, or anyone else to argue that "it's held together by intentionally sounding nothing like any other Linkin Park album!"  Let's parse Minutes to Midnight from top to bottom for no other reason than because we can do so and not lose any intrinsic values.

I handed out a 1 for Discography Score simply because "Bleed It Out" and "What I've Done" make my 5-star/road trip/party perpetual playlist.  "What I've Done" may be a bit too catchy, but both of these songs share the weave of intensity and melody that has been a Linkin Park trademark since the beginning.  I've come to establish Linkin Park as a "4" band in my head, meaning that I would almost never change the song/station should my iPod or the radio flip over to one of their songs.  "Shadow of the Day" and "No More Sorrow" are exactly that, and would probably have worked better as songs on other albums.

The real problem comes when get to the 3s and below.  "Wake" is quite literally an arbitrary instrumental opening track, although it sounds cool despite its uselessness.  "Given Up", "Leave Out All The Rest", "In Pieces", and "The Little Things You Give Away" all suffer from incompleteness or band-formulaic writing, and a surprising number of the tracks on this album seem to end abruptly amidst a lengthened out-chorus.  The shit really storms on "Hands Held High", as the album's nadir squanders a cool marching snare beat and well constructed vocal harmony melody by overlaying Mike Shinoda's incessant political rap.  This track is a paramount example of what happens when you take a political message and force it into song form, rather than creating a song that also carries a message.  A band like Rage Against the Machine can pull off the latter (and may still piss you off), but the world should have taken it's cue in 2004 from Eminem's sonic abortion "Mosh".  Much like "Hands Held High", "Valentine's Day" and "In Between" are saved from 1s by a couple redeeming melodic points and nothing more.

I understand that music is rebellious by nature, but Minutes to Midnight seems to simply rebel against good music.  Hopefully Linkin Park never forces us to go back there.

Author: Pete

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OAAR: Led Zeppelin - Led Zeppelin II (1969)

The 1969 follow-up to their first iconic album, Led Zeppelin's Led Zeppelin II carries with it even more memorable songs that will turn out to be classic tunes recognized to this day. Led Zeppelin II off with "Whole Lotta Love", a song whose title you don't say as much as you sing it then follow it up with the guitar slide. One of the best parts of this song is the breakdown jam section leading into the guitar solo. I bet you could ask a few generations of music fans if they could hum or whistle this solo and about 85% could actually rock it off the top of their heads. This is just one example of how classic this song is. "The Lemon Song" was probably one of the lower points on this album with the song not seemingly able to decide whether it wants to be structured or a jam session, but even having said that, the vocals and fantastic bass presence backing the guitar solos help keep the song above the average mark.

The "second side" of the album, starting with "Heartbreaker" really helps to lift this album up to new heights. The key to this are the three iconic riffs that pretty much all classic rock fans recognize anytime they hear them. The high point of this album, though, has to be "Ramble On" with its smoking bass riff, hard hitting chorus and just an all around fantastic song structure. The last noteworthy track is the instrumental "Moby Dick" featuring fun guitar solos but what really stands out is John Bonham's drum solo which sounds like is mainly accomplished with his fingers and not the use of drum sticks (at least for the most part) which is an incredible feat in and of itself. As a whole, Led Zeppelin II doesn't really make it on experience score for the same reasons as the first album, but is a wholly better album than Led Zeppelin I.

Author: Jake

I mean holy shit I forgot how good this album is.  Where Led Zeppelin paid homage to the blues that had gone before, Led Zeppelin II is 41+ minutes of Page, Plant, Jones, and Bonham taking the blues and making it their own.  (With a few borrowed bits from Willie Dixon, of course.)  Everyone gets their chance to shine, but Jimmy Page's guitar drives the album from the opening hook of "Whole Lotta Love" to the surprisingly catchy hook in "Bring It On Home".   The arrangement of the songs, whether pure accident or intentional, sets a perfect flow, as the more gentle middle tracks are bookended by some heavy, aggressive cuts.

Yet, as a whole, the album still feels incomplete.  Zeppelin produced a great sophomore effort before it was important to do so, and the songwriting on Led Zeppelin II is far superior to that of the debut, but the band's ability to produce a true opus wouldn't finally appear until Physical Graffiti.  It may only be a semantic distinction, but it's important to remember that in 1969, most albums were intended to be considered in their entirety.  The modern convenience of surrounding two or three single-quality songs with some ambient noise and throwaway tracks would have resulted in a short career at best.  Much like Led Zeppelin, the songs of Led Zeppelin II all stand out on their own - even the instrumental "Moby Dick" - but Led Zeppelin II  gets a more favorable rating because the songs are better.  I have always viewed Zeppelin's albums as representative tours de force (even if this does prejudge the more unique releases like Led Zeppelin III  and In Through The Out Door) and as such, Led Zeppelin II seems now, 43 years later, to be the apex of the band's studio releases.

Author: Pete

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OAAR: Linkin Park - A Thousand Suns (2010)

Linkin Park's A Thousand Suns is easily the band's most unique album.  The first time I ever heard it, I was super hungover driving home from a friend's wedding.  I had my iPod on shuffle (accidentally) and when I was done listening I thought that the album was unique.  I know now that the reality is A Thousand Suns has two qualities that are exceedingly different from the band's other albums.  The first is the hypnotizing opening trifecta of "The Requiem", "The Radiance", and "Burning In the Skies".  As the melody from "The Requiem" foreshadows "Burning in the Skies", it is interrupted by a wonderfully placed vocal reconstruction of Robert Oppenheimer's explanation of how the Bhagavad Gita served as his moment of clarity regarding nuclear power and the Manhattan Project (this is of course "The Radiance").  I'm not much for Linkin Park's dabbling with politics (see: Minutes to Midnight) but there is a level of artistic perfection here that is not celebrated enough in the modern world of internet singles.  Moreover, this opening trifecta is somewhat hypnotizing, as for days I never got past "Burning in the Skies" on the disc, restarting from the beginning over and over.

Once you move forward, the album does disappoint a bit.  The downslide begins after "When They Come For Me", a cool track with a haunting tribal groove melody that pairs well with Mike Shinoda's caustic challenge to "start tryin' to catch up motherfucker."  Going forward, the tracks by themselves are rather unspectacular, although the sonic experiments of "Blackout" and "Wretches and Kings" are the most non-traditional tracks in the current Linkin Park catalog.  In succession, however, the 10 tracks after "When They Come For Me" hold to the album's flow well.  A Thousand Suns is definitely an album meant to be experienced song by song front to back.  If you don't have the patience for that, your loss.

Author: Pete

A Thousand Suns is an album considered by most (including Linkin Park) an experimental album. Why they consider it such, I don't know, but I imagine it has something to do with it being an album where the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Considering how we here at Opportunity Assassins take a look at an album - bit by bit with the whole in mind - some of our scores might seem surprising. Filler track "Empty Spaces" is mostly junk on its own but when considered with the whole around it, it's found to be surprisingly fitting. I didn't quite have the hypnotizing reaction as Pete did with the opening three tracks, but I also didn't perceive them as being individual tracks. Don't get me wrong, opening with "The Requiem", featuring GLaDOS is a mood setting decision, and following it up with the entrancing Oppenheimer speech found in "The Radiance" is a fitting lead in for "Burning in the Skies", but only the third entity can stand on its own.

 The most spectacular part of this album is the fact that it's meant to be experienced as a whole and in order, a rare accomplishment in the age of singles. Add in the rarity of the Linkin Park 4+ minute track and you're left with an overall feeling of awe at the end of "The Catalyst" only to be roughly dragged down the road during the unnecessarily scream-y "The Messenger". As we hear in "Robot Boy", Chester Bennington has the ability to sing high notes with great clarity so it's understandable to question the finale to such a great journey. All that said, though, Mike Shinoda's very apparent influence, felt in his additional presence on both vocals and piano and some of the head nodding beats like those in mega fun prehistoric jungle beat-laden "When They Come For Me" and "Wretches and Kings", help steer this album to an overall success and a definite high point in the Linkin Park catalog. A Thousand Suns is absolutely a must-own for any fan of the album experience as the next time this claim can be made about any album might be a few decades away (hopefully not).

Author: Jake

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OAAR: Led Zeppelin - Led Zeppelin (1969)

We've already introduced you to Opportunity Assassins Album Reviews with our Contemporary Tuesdays, but now it's time for the first of our Retro Fridays where we take a look back at artists that have mostly already come and gone and left behind either a legacy of greatness or a legacy of shit.

Kicking off Retro Fridays is an incredible band with a storied history and that made a huge impact on generations of musicians especially guitarists and vocalists. The beauty of Led Zeppelin is that even on the first go round, they created classic tracks like Dazed and Confused and Good Times Bad Times.

To be perfectly honest, this was my first full listen through of Led Zeppelin's self titled first album.I didn't really go in with any expectations good or bad, so I was a bit surprised to see how great of a sound a band could make in the late 60's. What is even more impressive is that Robert Plant's vocals are untouched by modern essentials (for most bands these days) called Pro Tools or Auto-Tune. Sure they're not perfect, but it's the imperfections that make Plant's voice so wonderful. What really impressed me the most though is how closely Plant's voice and Jimmy Page's guitar notes matched up in spectacular blues tune "You Shook Me". Besides...who can't love Page and Plant's dual at the end.

As a whole, Zeppelin's first foray into the world is a far better than average album which is better than most can say on their first crack at the big leagues. That being said, it's very obvious to me that as the tracks were recorded and arranged, it was not with an album as a whole in mind. While this is not a bad thing (as evidenced by my Experience Score), I imagine it was partially in an effort to fit the longer than radio average tracks onto the 2 sides of vinyl. Now since this was the first Zeppelin album I've heard in its entirety, I don't have anything to compare to for the Discography Score, so I reserve the right to modify it as we review the rest of the Led Zeppelin albums.

Author: Jake

How you experience Led Zeppelin's albums says a lot about your musical taste.  The first four  Zeppelin albums are almost entirely about instrumental skill, and everybody in the band gets a chance to show off.  Because Led Zeppelin is most rooted in the blues, listeners are treated to to the shredding cocaine tones of Jimmy Page's guitar as it complements and pairs well with Robert Plant's soaring vocals.  Powerhouse covers of "Babe I'm Gonna Leave You" and "I Can't Quit You Baby" fit nicely with the (more) original "How Many More Times".

This album is more than just a blues homage by a group of extremely talented musicians, however, as songs branch out into other genres: rock 'n' roll ("Good Times Bad Times", "Communication Breakdown"), classical (Page's wonderful instrumental "Black Mountain Side") and theatrical rock (think precursor to Pink Floyd next time you listen to "Your Time Is Gonna Come" and you'll thank me later; this might be the most underrated Zeppelin song of all time).  Led Zeppelin starts strong, the first four songs might be the best four-song album beginning in the history of music, and "Dazed and Confused" is the best Zep song of all time.  You do have to listen to the rest of the discography to fully realize your appreciation of Led Zeppelin, but if it's not painfully obvious how good this album is the first time you hear it, you're an idiot.

Author: Pete

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OAAR: Linkin Park - Living Things (2012)

Welcome to Opportunity Assassins Album Reviews (OAAR), where we put each album to the test to determine which is the best of all time so you don't have to. You've just so happened to trip over OAAR on Contemporary Artist Tuesday (ignore the fact we posted this at 1AM on Wednesday), where we take a look at bands that are now or were recognized to be tearing up stages all over the world during the 21st century. We explained the rules behind the Opportunity Assassins Album Reviews using the super impressive statistical formula but here's a quick refresher course for the forgetful (or the lazy, whom we embrace with open arms).

1) Every track is scored on a 0-5 scale.
2) The scores are totaled up to create a weighted average based on run time.
3) Each album receives a score of 0-5 for how it is in comparison with the other albums in the artists's discography.
4) Each album receives an "experience score" for how good the album stands as a whole over time.
5) All of the numbers from steps 2-4 are gathered up to give us the Total Opportunity Assassin Album Review Score.

That's it. Simple as creating a good old fashioned Wisconsin Bonfire. With that, let's jump into our first Opportunity Assassins Album Review with Linkin Park's 2012 album, Living Things.

Living Things, the fifth independent studio effort by Linkin Park definitely hearkens back to the edgier, guitar-driven days of Hybrid Theory and Meteora.  Sadly, the album does little more than hearken.

Linkin Park appear to have fallen into a trap of recycling albums in the best AC/DC tradition.  Living Things, like many of its predecessors, begins with a more heavy metal sound, evolving into melody driven pieces then devolving into electronica-rap experimentation, ending finally with a song that plays like the album's end credits.

Strong tracks like "In My Remains", "Burn It Down", and "Skin to Bone" are offset by tracks that seem to be a recycling of Chester Bennington's favorite melodies ("Roads Untraveled") or Mike Shinoda's favorite cadences ("Until It Breaks").  When the album's best cut ("Burn It Down") seems to be one long hook, rather than a complex song, it's hard to get too excited.  Don't be surprised upon first listen to think, "Have I heard this album before?"  You have.  And that's not necessarily a good thing.

Author: Pete

Living Things provides us with quite a lot of good mixed up with a lot of bad held together by mediocre. Vocally, I'm thrilled to hear more singing out of both Chester and Mike especially when providing doubling duties on some tracks. An obviously Mr. Hahn (samples) heavy influence in writing Living Things actually works quite well in several cases while missing on others. The worst tracks stem from disruptive bridges, of which there are plenty, poor track layout and an obvious "single track" writing style (as opposed to a "single album" writing style). This is probably part of why the album doesn't even hit the 40 minute mark in total length.

At the shitty end of the spectrum is the midpoint track, "Victimized". Honestly, I don't think there's a better title for this song, as it accurately describes your auditory senses after having to suffer through this mess. Not only that but book-ended by two of the better songs on Living Things that are night and day different. Add to that the heavy screaming that Chester is still holding onto for whatever reason, I guess it's a good thing "Victimized" is only a short 106 seconds long. After the audacity (a word that should be used more often in music related articles) of "Victimized" who would've expected such a spectral 180? "Roads Untraveled" is not only a wonderful track, but is also a song that is an automotive karaoke delight you can't just help but sing along with. Hell, even if you don't sing, I'm sure one day you'll find yourself whistling or humming the tune while walking down the street. Simple, not weighed down by too many vocal flairs and featuring the subtle use of Chester doubling Mike's chorus line after the second verse, Roads Untraveled is the shining light of Living Things.

Author: Jake

But hey, it's your time. Waste it how you see fit.

Agree or disagree? Think we're the coolest cats on the planet? Let us know in the comments below.

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Opportunity Assassins Launch: Part Deux

After months of inconsistent posting here at Opportunity Assassins, we have finally (and sadly) gotten off our lazy asses enough to begin a regular schedule of posts and updates.  Beginning August 6th, we will be providing you with some weekly content to chew on that will hopefully augment your evenings and weekends with more entertainment and less effort achieving that entertainment.


Historically speaking, we’ve focused almost completely on TV to date, diving into what the Winter 2012 season had in store, ticking down the Five Greatest TV Theme Songs, defending NBC hit Smash, and organically creating a new TV segment called “You Must Watch This” - a segment that, just this week, we’ve decided to keep around and reserve for only the most spectacular TV series in its first season. With “You Must Watch This” you can expect that we won’t be rehashing the same old reviews that you can read anywhere else. What we’ll be doing with this segment is giving you a gut reaction from the initial viewing of each episode in the first season of what could turn out to be the most important (or most controversial) show during the calendar year. We’ll choose the most worthy show based on the vibrations of the interwebs so it may take a few weeks after the show premiers, but we’ll catch up quickly and soon be in lockstep with the show in question as it progresses through its inaugural season.

What other distractions will Opportunity Assassins be bringing you on the regular starting August 6? 



Monday and Thursdays will feature our new segment called Lazy Ass Reviews. Lazy Ass Reviews, or LAR for short, will be where you can find a brief, three line, review of any movie...good, bad or otherwise. And if you find that three sentences is too long, there will be an accompanying graphic that makes our recommendation even more obvious. This will allow you guys to spend the least possible amount of time figuring out whether the movie in question is worth spending your hard earned cash or if it could be used to buy something better like a case of Wisconsin brewed Leinenkugel’s. No spoiler alerts, no in depth discussions in these particular reviews, just recommendations...and pictures. Get it? Good.


Tuesdays and Fridays we will be providing you with our Opportunity Assassins Album Reviews, or OAAR in the language of the lazy, which was born of the question "What is the greatest album of all time?". Since your spectacular content creators are both well versed in the schools of math - well at least before becoming a history major/college lifer or a sales guy - we've decided to create a super impressive statistical formula to assign each album a point total. Don't feel like reading our comments on the great or the grotesque tracks? No worries. We’ll be adding an info box containing the album information, track listing and scores for each track for the album being reviewed so you can quickly move on with your day. The continually growing list of overall scores will be available for your perusal, allowing you to pick the perfect Pandora station or build a great Spotify playlist.  And don't worry, we have varied and wide tastes in music, and appreciate almost everything (read: no Country).

Aside from simple reviews, we also have a lot of thoughts about stuff. When one of those thoughts is worth repeating (and that happens more often than you know), we put a little effort down – none required by you, dear reader, don't worry! – and dream up a new way for you to think about/enjoy those things which you already enjoy. This allows you to maximize your ability to waste time with as little effort as possible.  What could possibly be better!? Not much is the answer, unless the beer from our background can materialize in your hand at will of course. 




But hey, it's your time. Waste it how you see fit.

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