Opportunity Assassins: Tools for the Lazy

Prelude:

The last new content piece for Opportunity Assassins is our weekly "big" article. As we stated during our launch, we'll find something interesting to talk about then do the heavy lifting so you, our dear readers, don't have to. We here at OA don't have and fancy pants name for this section so we'll settle for a fabulously lazy name of "OA Wednesday Post". There are no rules for this content - no word counts, no formatting, no nothing. Just information you need to perfect your procrastination skills to become the next Opportunity Assassin.

Becoming an Opportuinty Assassin (read: professional procrastinator), you need several tools to help speed life along so that you don't have to worry about the blur. We have only 1 thing that we look for when selecting the best tools for the job - Can I reach it while laying down on my couch? Well, it turns out there are amazing tools that accomplish just that and I'll tell you three of my favorite.

The Coin Toss

It's time for an Opportunity Assassins History Moment [1]. Since the invention of two sided items, the world's most important decisions have been made by which side lands face up. Of course, the advent of the money system, and more specifically coins, not only gave The Coin Toss its name, but made decision making portable. Examples of history's best and worst coin toss decisions include: the invention of Beer, Napoleon attempting to invade Russia, the invention of Whiskey, Hitler attempting to invade Russia, the invention of Pizza, Russia moving ICBMs to Cuba,  the invention of Air Conditioning, the invention of Golf, the invention of Football and mullets. As any Opportunity Assassin knows, no decision was ever made with a single coin toss. As a matter of fact, it's a universal law that no decision is final until after the third toss - a law called the Definitive Triumvirate Law.

The Opportunity Assassins Approved tricks of the trade for satisfying the Definitive Triumvirate Law are:
Any Coin
Any two-faced item
Random.org's Coin Flipper

The Universal Remote

A Universal Remote is the cornerstone for any good Opportunity Assassin's coffee table. While the Logitech Harmony family of is probably the best known and most popular of universal remotes on the market. The programmability, flexibility and ease of setup really helps the Harmony excel, but it's missing the one important feature included in the remote to receive the Opportunity Assassins Stamp of Approval - Bluetooth to control my home theater center Playstation 3. The Opportunity Assassins approved solution is the SMK-Link Blu-Link Universal Remote a combination PS3/RF remote. This allows me to control my music, movies, Netflix and plenty of other distractions from the comfort of my couch. The big benefit is that I can actually turn on just my surround sound and my PS3 then take the remote to another room where I can control my music without direct line of sight to my TV.


A Deck of Cards

Here's your next Opportunity Assassins History Moment. [2]There is no single distraction older than a deck of cards. It's a well known and well documented fact that raptors used to set up campfires all around Pangaea after a good T-Rex hunt and play games of Smear. Fast forward to a small Croatian village in the late 1800s and you'll find Nikolai Tesla playing games of Solitaire in a chain mail suit between two powered Tesla Coils. Second only to the Coin Toss in the list of procrastination's highest value historical contributions, a deck of cards is a savior to all species of creatures the world over. In a pinch, it's simple to shuffle up a deck of cards and deal out a game of King's Corners, play a game of Memory or the quickest card game of all - 52 Pick-Up. Perfect for everything from drinking games to picking Fantasy Football draft orders, a deck of cards is a life-saver in a pinch and a great way to waste time the Opportunity Assassins's way.

But hey, it's your time. Waste it how you see fit.


What's your favorite procrastination tool that would meet our stringent approvals?

[1] Opportunity Assassins History Moments are fictional creations because we're simply too lazy to do real research.